‘Unemployed Miss Boyle, who has bushy eyebrows…..’

Posted on April 16, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

‘…..is now one of the favourites to win.’ So says the Daily Mail today.

 


 

I am, of course, referring to Susan Boyle, of  ‘Britains Got Talent’ fame. I, like the rest of the World, it seems, has been mesmerized by her modest, unsophisticated charm and voice!  I didn’t  watch the show itself but saw it on YouTube, (quite a few times now!) which has now clocked over 18 million hits…in a matter of a few days.

Unfortunately, the sound card on my pc tends to render everyone as Pinky and Perky, but even with this handicap, she sounds amazing.

And how does she manage it with bushy eyebrows?! Not to mention frizzy hair and a frumpy frock? How could she possibly be so talented, looking like that?!  47….shouldn’t she remain invisible?!  How smug the audience are, in  their New Look  glory…how ashamed they must be now!

I get the feeling though, that despite the plucking, straightening, styling that will inevitably follow, that she will remain a sweet, charming, unaffected lady.

As far as I’m concerned….the show’s already over!

Edit: Sorry….clip has been disabled….you’ll have to check it out on YouTube!

 

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Thank God For Church Ladies With Typewriters

Posted on April 16, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

Thrust under my nose yesterday, entitled ‘Thank God for church ladies and their typewriters’….These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services….according to the blurb!

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again’, giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy’.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, ‘ What is Hell?’  Come early and listen to the choir practise.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans,bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

This evening at 7pm there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm…prayer and medication to follow.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday…’I upped my Pledge – Up Yours’.

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Bleugh…..

Posted on April 11, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

Oh, I had such good intentions for today.

Today I was going to sort out the brocante stuff in the Cottage with Lesley. But it would appear that the sheep, she took receipt of yesterday, have escaped and she is at this moment chasing them around Lot et Garonne.

I have managed to do two trips to the décheterie, so all is not lost, but it is frankly, so miserable and cold, that it is not at all conducive to doing things. Wet, spitty, yucky, demotivating weather. I hope it’s not like this on Monday during the brocante….don’t fancy standing out in it all day and I would imagine people won’t be in mooching mood.

We do, though, have the school loto to look forward to tonight….

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Opportunity Knocks….

Posted on March 31, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

I forgot to say…opportunity knocked last night. Well, actually, it phoned… the miracle of technology!

It was Lesley asking if I wanted to look after a sheep for a while. Not so sure about that! Turns out I’d misheard her and it was did I want to look after a gite for a while….phew!

It’s down the road, a bit of cleaning after the builders move out, the odd bed-change and some  laundry. All very welcome in this dry time!

I feel a little bit like Peggy…destined to be the chalet-maid, never the Yellowcoat, but it’s much needed!

On that note, I am off to Marmande tommorrow to check out the Chambre de Commerce, with a view to setting up as an Auto-Entrepeneur and then doing a market stall. I need to get my skates on as the ‘window’ is quite seasonal and I hope to be at it by mid-April. I am lead to believe, though, that the setting up of  the AE is simples, straight-forward and quick, but, to say that I am sceptical would be putting it mildly.

Simples?…here? in France? the rubber-stamp, photo-copy-your-documents-in-duplicate Capital of the World….hahahahah!!

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Potatoes

Posted on March 31, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

Seed Potatoes

I’m all alone again….I could get quite used to this!

I’m all alone and thinking about potatoes! Sad but true!

I have a little box of seed potatoes, that go by the name of Ratte, not a particularly attractive name, I agree. Apparantly they are high in the taste department but not in the yield department, but, well, they were the only ones on offer at the time. And I am sitting here wondering whether I should get them in the ground now against the advice of the lunar gardening site or wait until the moon starts to wane. Decisions, decisions!

I am also wondering if there is an element of cheatability with this lunar lark. For example, the synodic tells me to plant almost anything but potatoes and yet the bio-dynamic is telling me it’s an ideal time to plant them. So my question would be, could I plant potatoes by the bio-dynamic rules (cos it suits me at the moment!) and then, revert to the sidereal (it’s apparantly simpler than the BD regime) for everything else?

Or more disappointingly perhaps, is this apparant contradiction/confusion  just an indication that it’s a load of old tosh, piffle and bunkum in the first place?

I shall keep pondering over a cuppa!

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Plant in Haste…..

Posted on March 30, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

My Potager!

I find myself amidst some rare solitude. The kids are at school and Dad is sitting in the doctors waiting room and I am alone……bliss, of the highest order!

Unable to contain my enthusiasm, I planted out the strawberries and raspberry canes yesterday. A bit foolhardy, as I’m not sure, having checked the moon planting schedule, in hindsight, if it was the best thing to do. I’m still grappling with the terminology…..here is what it recommends:

Synodic:
Sow leafy vegetables and annuals that produce above ground. Lettuce, Spinach, Asparagus, Broccoli, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Sprouts, Sweetcorn, Cucumber. Grains are also good to plant now. This is not a good time to pick vegetables if they are to be stored.

I know that strawbs and raspberries are neither leafy vegetables nor annuals….but they do produce above ground…of that I’m fairly positive! And what seems the right thing to do if following the ’synodic’ cycle is completely contradicted by the ‘biodynamic’ or ’sidereal’ cycle. And as Dad rather unhelpfully pointed out…are you sure you have the taken the longitude/latitude into account? Help like that, I can do without!

It would appear that this lunar planting is more of a challenge than I first thought!

The cat thinks it’s the luckiest cat in the world..with the biggest, purpose built cat-litter tray…ever! And Poppy managed to knock over the bag of Swellgel crystals that I had carefully put to one side. I nearly throttled her!

Car arriving….thus ends the solitude….

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One Man Went to Mow…The Other One Had a Breakdown!

Posted on March 27, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

It was decided recently that we would start a vegetable garden, a potager. I think I got caught-up in the collective enthusiasm of various friends who are into this self-sufficiency thing. And I do recall pouring over the John Seymour book as a kid….especially the lovely pictures of the 5 acre plot. Anyway, it seemed such a good idea at the time.

And so it was that last week, we staked out the plot, in the bit of garden outside the kitchen…close to the well for relentless summer watering and close enough to the kitchen for that backbreaking work of bringing in the sheaves.

We borrowed a rotovator from Mr Keith and set to. After 10 minutes of trying to control the rotovator…a huge beast of a machine, with a mind of it’s own, which bounced across the turf, dragging me with it, we realized that the grass would need to removed by hand. So we cut and dug and removed and stacked hundreds of turves, ready to begin rotovating again. This time with slightly more success, but with just as much effort required, just as many blisters and very achy shoulders.

We have since forked over the whole patch, to throw up whopping clods of clay, a mountain of broken tile and stones and enough couch grass roots to start a turf business. And what appeared to be a fine tilth ready for planting, is now a ploughed field.

I do, however, have a lovely path down the middle, from which I can hoe and weed, without the risk of squashing the veges as they grow…how thoughtful!

Apparantly, you don’t start planting until after St.Catherines day,(it’s a frost thing) which is a bit confusing, as there is one in March, a few in April and one in May, and also, I am told the saints de glace (another frost thing). So I shall wait for May, just to be on the safe side. And then I’ll have to start watching the moon, as I plan to be a lunar planter….just for fun and to see if it really works.

At this rate, I’ll be lucky to get anything planted at all….

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Bazooka that verruca….with a banana

Posted on March 13, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

I’m pleased to announce that we have a verruca in the house. It’s only a small one and doesn’t hurt…yet.

But the reason I’m so excited, is that I can try the banana-skin-home-remedy and see if it really does work.

Technique: place a piece of banana peel, white -side down on the verrucca, sticky plaster it in place and leave over night while you sleep. You might need to repeat a few times until it’s gone…well, that’s the theory anyway.

I’ll let you know how we get on!

 

25/03/09 Verucca Update

Pleased to announce that the verucca is on its way out! I only managed to do one piece of banana overnight, before completely forgetting about my social experiment for the benefit of  Mankind and a few days later, (having removed piece of banana from the foot of my sock the following morning), realised that it was smaller and almost gone. I am going for another piece tonight, having enjoyed the banana custard, (which reminded me of my experiment) and am happily anticipating that the offending verucca will be gone completely in a few days.

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Spring….Come back, all is forgiven!

Posted on February 10, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

Storm Damage

I’m not a religious person by any means, but there has been such extreme weather conditions over the past few days, that the only way to describe it is in Biblical proportions.

Last night, myself and Diddy were woken again by fierce gales rattling the roof tiles and resorted once again, to refuge in the front room. It’s such a comfort, sitting by the glow of a wood burning fire as the storm howls around outside.

During the course of the day, the rain has poured, the wind has whistled, the hail stones have rattled their way under the roof tiles to fall inside and the sun has shone, to briefly cause a steamy lawn.

We’re waiting for the plague of locusts and falling frogs.

And it’s no better on the news. The UK has been brought to a standstill recently by snowy blizzards and now they are awash with winter floods. Meanwhile, Australia blazes on the other side of the world…my thoughts go out to those suffering and going through Hell.

Dad managed to slip in the garden today bringing in wood for the aforementioned rosy-glowing fire. The logs went up and then down, he went down and landed on top of a log, on his back. He is in some pain, (he must be, as he agreed to some aspirin…unheard of!) which is travelling down his leg.

So I am girding my loins for another trip to the doctor and the radio department over the next few days. 

Just want the Spring to arrive now….fed up with Winter!

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Filed under: Family life in France, Trials and Tribulations.... | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Aspirin, anyone?

Posted on February 9, 2009 by Sarah Peyton

Diddy had a rotten weekend…. a headache since Friday, a midnight nose-bleed and achy bones.

So I dragged her to the doctors this morning. We sat there for what seemed like hours and in time I explained to the doctor the symptoms, in my best French….which was, to be fair, having the day off today. A thorough examination ensued, a whole raft of paperwork scrawled and an appointment made at Marmande clinic for a hip x-ray and scan! This afternoon.

I’m still trying to work out how we got from headache to hip x-ray in one fell swoop and can only assume it is akin to Chinese whispers.

On the way back from the doctors, the lights on the car failed…well, apart from the indicators. I dropped Diddy at home, threw back a cup of tea before dashing off to the garage in order to get there before the 12 noon, lunch-time deadline…sancrosanct!  But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as I’d forgotten that today is market day in Duras and the garage isn’t even open on Mondays.

So, cussing and cursing, I then went to the chemist for a bag-full of medication, drove as nonchalantley past the gendarmes as I could, went to Shopi for, amongst other things, a box of firelighters. I managed to forget the firelighters…

We left for Marmande a bit early so that I could go to the CPAM office in the centre of town. By now poor Diddy is limping quite well. We parked in the under-ground car-park, which of course meant lots of stairs…(I’m such a cruel Mum!) and then up yet more stairs to the office….only to find it still closed after the recent storms…well, a fortnight ago now.

Off to the clinic; x-ray and scan done, 80 euros paid, dropped them off to the doctor on the way home. She’d already phoned before we’d even got in, to tell us that everything looks fine, she’d  got the diagnosis wrong….not that I’m entirely sure what her diagnosis was…and she’d ring me again tommorrow.

Phew!

The problem with this French Health System, is it’s too damn efficient! Maybe a bit of waiting in waiting rooms but certainly no waiting for 2 weeks while an appointment becomes available. It takes me by surprise every time.

 

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Filed under: Family life in France, French Language, Trials and Tribulations.... | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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